Team members: Lillian Kuehl
Hometown: Port Angeles, WA, USA
Race vessel: Chesapeake Light Craft Expedition Wherry
LOA: 18′ 3″
Human propulsion: Row
Connect: website, facebook
If Lillian, of Team Lillian’s Vacation, is any evidence—“I’m Special” buttons must come from the same place they make the 1180 Awards. Lillian is a Race to Alaska veteran, with several SEVENTY48s and a WA360 under her belt, to boot. And it’s those muddy boots she’ll kick up on our couch because su casa es mi casa, amiright?
Whether it’s the late night texts with editorial notes on our bios, or early morning texts asking if she’s allowed to change vessels halfway through the race—one thing’s for sure: Lillian always has something to say. And while we here at Race HQ have never been ones for censorship or propriety, we are fans of self-preservation. The visionary wordsmith that is Lillian Kuehl submitted survey answers so inspired—and so obscene—were we to publish them, both she and we would inevitably end up on one-to-several government watchlists. So please: put your pearls, children, and Meemaws in a safe place, and enjoy what’s left of her interview after we sent it through legal.
We sat down with Lillian Kuehl over a bowl of four-letter words to talk about , , and which bar of soap tastes best.
What are the necessary components of a good adventure?
in his face.
What’s a lesson you learned the hard way?
The circle of fifths:
What’s your favorite kind of bracket?
Gavin Brackett because he tells that to go to every time he wins this moronic of a race!
What’s your claim to fame?
I wake up in the morning, watch an school video, think I should do more swimming, go take a , then live out my day doing and never saving a life. If you want to find meaning in that, go choke on a . Maybe , in that case, go ahead and .
It’s drizzling, freezing cold, and you’ve missed the tide. The cabin is leaky and the stove won’t light. How do you keep the good vibes going?
You ever heard of the phonetic alphabet? that and those fixed-wing pilots all smug in their —I’ll be busy making a better one, here’s a sample, :
Also I have a music playlist called . THINK ABOUT IT SHEEPLE! DON’T BE MORONS, FIGURE IT OUT IT’S *MUSIC*.
Forget the 10k or the steak knives. What does success look like for you and your team?
An winching my sorry out of this petulant of a race that came up with, so I never again thrust my entry into it like a .
Defend your vessel. What makes it worthy?
It’s the kind of piss-poor vessel has wanted to knock up and knock out of this race every since I met that in a dark alley 4 runny- years ago. I hope it sinks to the bottom of the hellish sea so I can meet an and we can both tell to drown in a vat of .
Blank space, baby. Write some things:
Some hellscapes are better left blank. !
“Some hellscapes are better left blank.” Welcome back to Race to Alaska, Lillian. It’s like you never left, because you kinda never did.