Team members: Brian Satterwhite, Christopher Satterwhite, Lynsi Moon, Melissa McKernan
Hometown: Portland, OR, USA
Race vessel: Corsair F242 Trimaran
Human propulsion: Dual recumbent pedaling stations
TL;DR: Vomit, suicide, funcles, more vomit, and the existence of Oregon
Let’s lead off with a sentence that’s never been written: Whether your kink trends towards bad boat name puns (Knotty Girl, Ahoy Vey, Titan Uranus, and What Knot) or late 80s inspiring educator/teen suicide comedies, you should look no further than Team Seas the Day.
To be clear—the 44 words up there were 4% about what’s relevant about the team and 100% about the collective squirrel brain that is R2AK’s writing department. Unpacking the math: Seas the day = Seize the day = Carpe Diem = Dead Poets Society, and RIP Robin Williams.
You know a joke’s funny when you have to explain it.
The bold souls of Team Seas the Day seem to carpe the hell out of any diem available. We didn’t check, but we’d bet they carpe’d today because it ends in Y and they don’t seem to know how to stop.
To say it’s in their DNA is as true as it’s a cop-out. Their crew manifest looks like the wildest branch off their family tree: three siblings/cousins and a dad/funcle. (Funcle: fun uncle, not whatever you thought of, perv.)
From sea stories of saving lives in storms off the Oregon Coast (“forty-foot seas… crew went overboard but got him back before the visiting congressman blew chunks…”) to sea stories of bachelor parties in force 9 conditions (“… he threw up to windward, WINDWARD, and coated the cockpit in bile…”), to read their application to race is to get cozy with vomit. When Team Seas the Day isn’t gathered around the family hearth to wax nostalgic about visually remembered meals, they are seemingly goading each into sailboats, both in their home waters of the Columbia River and repeated trips into the salt on nearly yearly chartered vacations in locations as local as the inland waters of Washington and as far as Tonga. Topping off their water cred, at least some members of their team can claim a self-defined victory in the WA360. Not first place, but a win by their own victory conditions: “race completed, no groundings, no lost or injured crew” and quite possibly no one blew chunks.
Buttressing their adrenaline and vomit-infused sailing resume, Team Seas the Day has the requisite skiing/hiking/biking mountain chops as you might expect from a family of hard-charging Oregonians—one can even do pullups on their fingertips. Ow.
Welcome to the R2AK Team Seas the Day. Remember that in Canada vomit is measured in liters, and never at high tea.