Team Ship of Fools

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Team members: Kevin Greenwood, Nigel Greenwood, Richard Greenwood, Dave Blake, Ian Greenwood, Tony Greenwood
Hometown: Victoria, British Columbia, CA
Race vessel: 1974 C&C 35 Mark II
LOA: 37′ 6″
Human propulsion: Pedal (prop) and Oars

R2AK HQ Note: After press time, we were informed that Team Ship of Fools (who foolishly didn’t proofread their own registration info) will be in a 35′ boat, not a 23′ one. We anticipate they’ll be just as greasy, but more loosely packed than originally described.

 

What puts the “fool” in Team Ship of Fools? No idea. Their race theory seems to boil down to this: Get as small of a boat as possible, cram two full generations of family onboard, then invest in vaseline and a crowbar so they could fit another guy onboard. Dave. “Greasy Dave” to his friends. As of now.  

We sat down with Kevin Greenwood from Team Ship of Fools over a bowl of Afternoon Tea at the Empress to talk about the Grey Funnel Line, battenberg cakes, and Plato.

What are the necessary components of a good adventure?

A challenge met with good company.

What’s a lesson you learned the hard way?

Many fools aren’t, actually. Some are though – so it’s difficult to tell. 

What’s your favorite kind of bracket?

An A bracket…yes definitely the A Bracket. Our boat doesn’t have one, but if you do have one, you really want it to be there. 

What’s your claim to fame?

Kevin is the Skipper and Chief Fool of Team Ship of Fools. He has considerable type two and even some type three fun sailing under his belt, including row boats, rafts, sailing yachts large and small, and a million-odd sea miles with the Grey Funnel Line [Note from HQ: that’s a Canadian nickname for the Royal Navy]. Most importantly, Kevin’s bona fides as a fool are unparalleled, as evidenced by his decision to bring along his two elder and overbearing twin brothers as crew.

It’s drizzling, freezing cold, and you’ve missed the tide. The cabin is leaky and the stove won’t light. How do you keep the good vibes going?

Liberal doses of Sarcasm, Irony, and Ridicule. 

Forget the 10k or the steak knives. What does success look like for you and your team?

Getting to Ketchikan safely with a team that is on speaking terms and which has generally failed to live up to its name. 

Defend your vessel. What makes it worthy?

Our boat is old; indeed can be considered classic plastic, but it does raise an appreciative eye at the start line. It has been stood on its ear many a time and has always risen to the occasion! Oh, and the keel bolts are good. 

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Team Ship of Fools is trying to get to Alaska on a 23-foot sailboat with 6 people, anchovied in like hotdogs shoved into a jar of KY jelly. 

Want to know more? Ship of Fools provided an explanation of their name.  Or is it a fever dream?  RenFaire skit idea? You tell us. 

“As for the Team Name . . .

Imagine, if you will, a ship of fools. The Captain, the Chief Fool, professes to be more knowledgeable of the ways of the sea than the fools, but he has forgotten more than he knows, has grown lazy, and talks too much. He bombulates pointlessly about where Aries was first found, the proper setting of the Battenburg, the significance of doubling of the angle on the bow, and the Radian Rule. Beset by the others, who quarrel about the draw of the jib, how much duff is their right, and whether the dogs should be married or split, the Chief Fool believes he is in charge. He is a rare and special sort of fool.

All the fools are of the opinion that the ship should be on the other tack, always. They are on the way to Ketchikan. They have heard there are good steak knives there, but cannot agree where it is; indeed, one fool, who fancies himself a philosopher, states boldly that no such place exists. The lesser fools throng about the Chief Fool, begging and braying for him to let them steer; and if another is favoured, they eat that other’s duff, and take copious liberties with that same fool’s grog, virtually raising their own G above M. Slackers and idlers all, they clog up the Chief Fool’s senses with their roaring and ranting. They think only of Stand Easy, Sunday routines, Make and Mends, and the Banyan Tree. They make free with the stores. Subject to channel fever, they plot constantly to heed the Siren’s call and divert the ship for a run ashore; this agitates the Chief Fool no end. 

And so, the fools carry on bickering and oblivious, on their way to Ketchikan and steak knives. Only a fool would bet on them.

With Apologies to Plato, and Sebastian Brant”