Team members: William Quigley, Joel Smith, Mark Dix, Li Sung
Hometown: Seattle, Washington, USA
Race vessel: Farrier 32
Human propulsion: Two rowing stations, two pedal drives, and the secret weapon
Other than the fading memories of a two-season dominant football team, an opening day streak to nowhere, and some championship banners hanging from the rafters of an empty arena for a basketball team that no longer exists, sports and Seattle have been dominated not by the Gatorade baths of winning, but by the communal act of citizens gathering in stadiums and believing that if they yell together and loud enough they might scare away failure. Sure there were some victories, but sometimes even the victories felt like failures. The Seattle Mist, our home team for the Lingerie Football League, for instance.
Team Narwhal is R2AK’s conservatively dressed, all male, and now better known version of Seattle’s female gridders.
In what way, you ask?
Like any start-up franchise in the lingerie league, Team Narwhal’s first-year squad is a combo of veteran free agents looking to make a mark, draft picks without better options, and at least one person who may or may not have been an underwear model. Let’s run through the roster:
Mark Dix: The Achilles figure in the R2AK pantheon. Mark windsurfed to rocketship speeds and a near victory in the first leg of the first R2AK. Then he came back on a Tornado. Every time he comes back to the R2AK, he seems to add a hull. This time he’s also adding a team, a few more feet of waterline, and a place sailors call ‘inside.’
Li Sung: Hard sailing Navy Diver in pursuit of a PhD in engineering, Li was part of Team Wright Yachts’ 2019 fabled finish in the newly delivered boat that was literally assembled two weeks before the race and still had the new tri smell after 750 miles. Fun fact: if Li would have written his own trading card, it would have described him as made of ‘PURE MUSCLE.’
Bill Quigley: Captain, owner, and builder of the blue 32 they’ll be taking to Ketchikan. He’s sailed the boat on both coasts and whatever Florida is, with a bunch of racing in San Fran and the Puget Sound. For this trip, Bill’s added a couple of bolt-on rowing stations, a pedal drive, and a ‘secret weapon’ that combined will take the F-32 from 0 – 2 in under 60 seconds.
The other guy: Joel Smith once built a jet-powered bike, and we haven’t seen the guy in person, but at 5’8” and 135 pounds, he’d be our bet for underwear model.
Solid picks from the supplemental draft of veterans, promising rookies, and the seasoned coach to pull the whole thing together. Now they just need a mascot. If only there was a charismatic animal that could depict both the qualities of their team and their large blue boat with a huge bowsprit.
Welcome to the R2AK, Team Narwhal. We’ll let you know if we think of anything.