Team members: Elan Stewart, Lara Mayer, Robert Mayer, Carol Klammer, Lizzy Grim
Hometown: Gig Harbor, WA USA
Race vessel: Beneteau First 345
Human propulsion: Row and pedal stations
Way before this pandemic lockdown, we often thought of R2AK as a sort of voluntary prison. Teams who sign up for this optional misery are committed, in a meaning that spans the gap between the definition more related to marriage and the one associated with insane asylums. The months leading up to the race are intense preparation, no time off for good behavior, and only occasional breaks for exercise in the yard and/or conjugal visits.
We are all just prisoners here, of our own device.
We see a lot of cases here in the R2AK prison yard: most folks learn their lesson after their first race, do the time and return to society as reformed and productive citizens. For others, the path to reintegration is harder, often because societal pressures and family members are also part of “the system.” They might get out for a while, but sooner or later their white-knuckle grip on the straight and narrow loosens a little and they find themselves easing back into familiar patterns, and getting into the kind of trouble that gets you hard time, and engineless up the Inside is as hard as it comes.
Whatever you do during the R2AK, don’t drop the soap. Trust us.
There are at least two ways you can tell that Team Repeat Offenders lives up to their name:
- They’re signed up for the R2AK, again.
- Possibly pandemic related, but it’s been months since they’ve been legally allowed on school property.
If you look at the wanted posters, you’ll see a resemblance between Team Repeat Offenders and some past R2AK teams. Elan and Lara were the explosives expert and getaway driver (respectively) of Team Global in 2018, but wisely changed their alias to keep a lower profile. Right now “Global” is coming up a lot (mostly followed by “pandemic”) and other than naming your beer after a virus, there might not be a worse move in branding or keeping a low profile. Beyond their R2AK experience, those two come to the race with the collective bona fides that include 15 years as a licensed captain (with 2 off for good behavior), a 3-year stint doing/marketing about oil spill cleanup and salvage work, and 2 years without parole sailing Mexico and Baja on a 29’ boat.
Sharing a Beneteau 32 shaped cell with the lifers is Robert, who translated a lifetime of BMX, backpacking, automobile rally racing, 2 years of sailing lessons and certifications (not to mention marrying into R2AK) into a spot on the newest midpack finish, in a race that can’t even happen. We’ve met him, and while Robert seems more like white collar crime than Thug Life, we’re told he’s getting a teardrop tattoo for every R2AK he missed. Whenever it happens, fish, as long as you hold our pocket, we welcome you without judgement.
Welcome back to the R2AK, Team Repeat Offenders. No matter how long this takes, you only do two days in the R2AK: the day you go in, and the day you get out.